Fishsticks

As my parents found out last week, if you're white and walk around certain sections of Shanghai, people will swarm you trying to sell you things. I mean, literally, swarm. I deal with this every day, as a big concentration of these hucksters is outside the S&T metro stop (because there's that underground market there).

For awhile, I would practice my Bu yao on them. Occasionally I would switch between that and Mei you qian. Then I moved to ignoring them. Then I began occasionally telling them Wo ting bu dong Yingwen, which means "I don't understand English." That gets some fun reactions out of them. I guess it's plausible though, because I could be Italian or whatever for all they know.

But that's getting boring, so it's time to switch it up. The next time somebody approaches me about something, I'm going to ask if they have chickens for sale. If they act confused or say "No," I'll say, "If you don't have chickens, I don't want to shop. "

Or, alternatively, I could start responding with "Don't you think the weather is nice today?" Or something completely off the wall, like maybe "The British are coming!! The British are coming!!"

Oh oh oh I got it -- I'm going to ask my co-workers how to say "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" in Chinese.

Or start saying "Sorry, I can't understand your German. Can you please repeat that?"

Or just start asking them for money. "If you give me 70 kuai, I'll buy a watch from you." Hahaha. Actually, I like that one the best :-)

You see where I'm going with this. I bet if I let my brain ruminate on the possibilities for awhile, I can get some interesting reactions from these people. I'm not like, angry at them or whatever. They're just doing their job. But they're annoying, and if I can change them from annoying to entertaining, why not do so?

Plus, it'll give them stories to tell.

"Today on the Bund I tried to get this tall white guy to look at my catalog, and he started screaming something about chicken brains!! Then he said he wanted to sell me a washing machine, and walked off."

That's me, you know, always thinking of others :-)

Let it Snow

While I'm still thinking about it, I want to document this random encounter I had outside the metro stop on the way home. First, we got let out of work at 3 PM because it had been snowing all night and all day. w00t. It really is beautiful, but my shoes are soggy and mushy from walking in all the slush :-( Everyone is saying how rare this is and how it never snows in Shanghai. I must say I feel very lucky to be here for this, except by "lucky" I mean "sodden." Haha. No, really, I haven't seen snowfall like this in about five or six years. And I haven't gotten out of work/school for snow since my internship during winter break 2000. I can't wait to walk outside tomorrow when it'll be nice and frozen from the overnight chill! And whoopdie-doo, it's supposed to be like this for the next week.

So I had an earlier-than-expected tutoring lesson with one of my co-workers (yep, I've got two tutors) where I spent half an hour trying to say zao and zui correctly. Yes, it's that tough :-) It's all about where you put the tip of your tongue. Also I have realized that I'm forcing it too hard because I want to say it correctly. Often the extra effort causes me to flub a pronunciation. So I'm trying to relax more when I speak. But I did impress my coworkers this morning by grabbing some food from the snack table and saying Zhe ge shi wo de zaofan. ("This is my breakfast.")

But anyway, outside the metro plaza, I walked past three guys building a half-formed snowman. I laughed and asked Ne ge shi shenma? And they answered "Zhe ge shi snowman!" Hahaha, that was great. So I laughed and was walking away, then one of them starts going "Golf! Golf!" I was like -- wtf? Golf?? So he runs to his van and draws the door open. I'm thinking great, I'm gonna get wrapped up in a carpet and smuggled out into the countryside. Hahaha, not really. But the dude pulls out this giant golf club bag from the backseat. Of course, now it was time to say Bu yao.

Ah Shanghai - where anyone, any time will try to sell you a golf bag.

All this snow really makes me want to not leave the house ... I think I'll join the gym tomorrow. Since I took the tour on Thursday, the membership guy has been calling me nonstop asking me when I'm coming back. I really do want to join, and the price is good, so I will probably go tomorrow, assuming they're open.